Not Everything Needs an Explanation
On suffering, silence, and the things we say when we don’t know what to do
I was out walking the dog the other day, moving slowly as I often do now, the mobility scooter humming quietly beneath me.
I have had a complicated relationship with mobility aids since a COVID infection in 2021 made them a necessity. Not something I ever expected, and not something I would have chosen. Just something that is.
As I passed someone, we exchanged the usual polite conversation. A few words about the weather, their dog, and the pace of the day. Then, as we parted, they smiled kindly and said, almost as a comfort,
“Oh well, everything happens for a reason.”
I knew what they meant.
It was not said carelessly or meant to dismiss or minimise. If anything, it was an attempt to make sense of something that clearly did not.
But as I carried on down the path, that sentence remained with me.
Not because it was cruel.
Because it revealed something deeper.
There are phrases we reach for when we do not know what to say. Phrases that sound gentle, even wise. Phrases that feel like they should help.
And yet, sometimes, they do something else entirely.
They tidy up what is messy.
They explain what is still unfolding.
They attempt to place meaning where there may only be loss, confusion, or endurance.
And they reveal a conviction underneath it all: that suffering must make sense in order to be bearable.
I am not sure that it does.
What I have come to notice is that these phrases are not random. They reveal something about how we understand God, suffering, and what it means to endure.
And that is worth paying attention to.
