The Day I Stopped Waiting for Certainty
Some of the most important decisions we ever make come long before we feel completely ready.
Welcome to Saturday’s reflection.
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One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about faith didn’t come from a theology book.
It came from becoming an adoptive parent.
Our two youngest children came into our family as babies. We had already become parents to our eldest child, so we knew something of what it meant to raise a child. Even so, adoption was completely different.
When a child is born, there is a gradual journey into parenthood. There are months of preparation, appointments, conversations, and time to imagine the life that lies ahead. Adoption has its own long process too, but when the day finally arrives, everything changes almost at once. Suddenly, you are taking home a fully formed little person who already has their own personality, preferences, and history. Overnight, you are Mum or Dad.
Of course, we had read books. We had spoken to our social workers, listened to experienced adopters, and attended training. All of that mattered. But none of it could fully prepare us for the moment we drove home together.
At some point, preparation gives way to reality.
You simply have to begin.
You learn what it means to be that child’s parent by becoming their parent. There isn't another way.
You make decisions without complete confidence, and have to discover your strengths and your weaknesses along the way. You love, you stumble, you adjust, and little by little you grow into the role.
Looking back, I’m not sure anyone ever feels completely ready for something as life-changing as becoming a parent. There comes a moment when you have enough to take the next step, but not enough to remove every uncertainty.
The more I think about it, the more I realise that this isn’t just true of parenthood. It may be true of almost everything that matters.
